what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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