shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
How's work?
Spinning.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Randomize
