the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
