is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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