I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
