He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
