i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
