I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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