I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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