never play flip cup with pint glasses
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
