i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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