put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
