So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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