Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
