Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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