Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize