not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
