i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
