Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
