you didnt know i had herpes?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
