so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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