I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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