you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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