I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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