I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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