Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
