i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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