Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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