that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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