Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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