I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i dont even know how to be here
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
