ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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