i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
