Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
