I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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