New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
