Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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