I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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