wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no, he came in my armpit
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
