I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
