We're facebook friends in real life
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
