bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
