Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
