he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
