how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
