My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I need a beard to bite.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
