when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
