i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you had me at cake vodka
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize