What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And then he peed in my hair
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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