After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
