What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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