Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
