sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
