Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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