what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
