yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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