I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
